The PMDD Pledge

Hi everyone!

Okay, so, meds are awesome and I'm so grateful I'm on them. But to think that they'd fix everything and make me happier is stupid--and unrealistic. (maybe foolish is a better word?) I recently started researching on actual ladies with PMDD and how their medications have been working. Apparently, things will slip through. There hasn't been one that said: "And the anxiety and dysphoria never returned, the end." Instead, the anxiety attacks are shorter and easier to get out of. They get better--but still not perfect. And being that school is my trigger, this is still a problem.

Anyway, I've decided to make myself recite something every morning to make sure I overcome this. This post is so on the head of what PMDD is like--there's no hope sometimes. There's not light, and having come so many years forcing others--and myself--to go through the mood swings, violence, and generally feeling of confusion--I've lost so many friends, and even at one point, my family, to it. It terrifies me to go out and meet new people, because unless they're willing to sit down and learn that I have no faith in myself, it's useless. We will end up not being friends--breaking up or however you'd like to put it.

But that ends here.

I say this with as much confidence as I can--it's a scary thing. I know some days I'll lose control. Some days I'll want to burn down bridges and cry until the world fades out. But when it isn't that day, and when I can have total faith in myself, I will have faith in myself. I will believe in myself. If it kills me. (this page has provided me some laughter [it's on Facebook])

(down below is a revised version of this one over on Stranger--and Stranger's is way more applicable than mine!)

The PMDD Pledge

1. You are the leader of your life! Your illness is not.

2. It doesn't matter what other people do OR think. Smile, laugh, be nice to them, and surround yourself with people who love you despite being insane.

3. You are going to become someone who doesn't always suffer from insanity!

~Life is in session~

Cheers!
Jenn