Let's Talk: Saying Goodbye to Ballet

Hi everyone!

This post is going to be... erm, difficult for me. And for reasons that hopefully can be understood. Because right now, we're going to talk about why I had to say goodbye to my first passion, ballet. It wasn't a guy, it wasn't an obsession, it was a passion. It was something that was supposed to give me a future. A life.

But not anymore.

I started heavily thinking about quitting in 2012. It was late in the year, I had just started pointe, I was happy with my dancing but not with my body. In fact, it became hard to deal with my body looking so... awkward. I didn't look pretty en pointe. I looked weird. Stocky, heavy, even when I was fully lifted. I couldn't close first position because my calf muscles were too big. I started missing Irish dancing--not because it was better, but because I was better built for it. Ballet was something amazing, but Irish dancing was more fitting for me.

And then I danced in a showcase in May 2013. It was a fundraiser for school, and I did a more jazzy routine. I thought it looked okay. But after having my mom video tape it, I thought something different. The technique, positions, everything was on--but it still looked awkward. I cried that night harder than any other time I had ever cried. It was like being put through a breakup... because my passion couldn't take it.

It wasn't until this past July that I went back. I was determined to get better, to start running, to stop eating so much, to become skinnier and get rid of my bulky muscles forever. But then, something else ended up stopping me, and killing my career: Achilles tendonitis.

It was only after three weeks of being back at ballet that I started having a hard time walking. The bottoms of my heels hurt, my calves hurt, and my Achilles couldn't bear to be stretched. Something was wrong, and after talking to both my mom and my dance teacher, we made the hardest decision I've ever had to make: I quit dance.

I don't think the impact of it has hit yet. I still think about going back, about barre, about everything. But it's already October and my Achilles are still incredibly sensitive, and I often have to take it easy. Irish dancing has been cut back, any dancing has to be limited to twenty or so minutes--it's the cruelest trick of fate there ever was.

And now the hardest part is replacing that hobby with something else. I'm back to blogging, writing, researching, focusing on this new relationship, and hopefully am going to find something. Something to replace that passion. It's a hard road, but this blog'll probably get a lot more interesting. (:

Cheers!
Jenn

I Give Up!

Hi everyone!

It's Wednesday. It marks over a month of not being able to sleep properly. And I am so tired.

But the thing is, I lay down in bed and after five minutes, I'm energized again. Guys,

I'M TURNING INTO THE ENERGIZER BUNNY.

I just keep going!

And this is so, so, so tiring. More than you would think. So much, in face, that I'm already starting on my blog's updates. (guys, I'm sorry... really.... it's just that the header is really, really grainy! It's bothering meeeee)

Anyway, I don't know what this post is about. But I'm making a new label titled 'Insomniac' and will probably be writing about that some more. Because there's so much I can write about--I mean, it's insomnia! ^.^ I'm up all night doing magical things. Last night I made hamburgers. And it took burning one side to realize that turning the flame down and covering them would be a good idea. I'm just so tired I cannot think straight. That's okay though.

Well, up until you're like: "WHAT ARE THEY SAYING?!"

Anyway, so, I'm making my room plan with PicMonkey, because I'm really not diggin' the other room planners out there. But I'm kinda hyped because I'm positioning today! :D Take a look below!

My room set up "normally". Light green=futon bed, dark green=dresser
pink=desk, brown=desk chair.

All the parts labeled, but how it would probably look
when I had to spread things out (which is
the only reason why I have to tilt the bed)

So, basically, if you want to create a room set-up on PicMonkey, you can use the Overlay section and explore what they have to offer. I did really like this so much better than other room planner programs--and it's completely free! If you have a weird room shape, though, using a different planner might be better. 

Anyway, I'm off to go spray paint my chair! It's gonna be a light pink and hopefully I can get a fabric spray-pain in the green I'd like (because the fabric can't be reupholstered). But, we'll see! I actually landed a spray paint that matches some of the thread colours on the chair, so it might come out a super-cute vintage look! I'm also cleaning my brother's room today, because I'm nosy and I'm going to try and paint it this weekend. :3 It should only take a day, but my mom is planning on giving me some allergy pills that will knock me out (yay drugs?) Friday night. I've been having vertigo problems and have fallen because of it, so she thinks that I need some sleep-help. Hopefully, though, I won't need it all of the time! But it would be great to feel good again. ^.^ 

So, day plan?: 

1. Shower. It's sunny outside, which means that my body should be getting ready to wake-up! 
2. Make pancakes and eggs for breakfast and do some dishes! ^.^ 
3. Throw a load of towels in.
4. Get my chair ready to be painted. 
5. Paint it!!! 
6. Start cleaning my bro's room. 
7. Break time! Clean my room and re-position some more furniture. 
8. Probably time to throw those towels into the drier and throw my own clothes in the wash. 
9. Finish cleaning, and drinking lotsa water! 
10. Relax and self-five! 

Any exciting plans? Leave them in the comments below! ;) 

Cheers! 

Jenn

I'm an Ostrich (Help! Jenn's and INTJ!)

Hi everyone!

So, I've been feeling crummy and all-around sad and I haven't been able to put a finger on it until a weird Google search (c'mon, new information makes me happy) lead me to Ostracism. The idea is that one person for whatever reason is ignored by a majority of people, leaving them to learn the workings of the world by themselves.

Okay, I know, this is going to be a long, winded post, but it's just an explanation. I promise, I don't want to come off as complainy--most of this stuff has already happened, and I don't mourn, I accept facts. Remember: I'm an INTJ. But here's the story of how I actually became one.

It started in 2012, back when I was dating someone and the number of times I had been getting kicked out were increasing, and my all-around happiness was decreasing. I wasn't happy in my relationship, and I knew it--but when you are in a just really bad situation, you don't usually reject those that take you in. But then, I wasn't really happy in general--getting kicked out for reasons I didn't understand were hard. I had PMDD then, and I knew that my anger had something to do with my period, but mom refused to get me checked out, and instead let my anger bother her so much that extremely harsh words were said and people left or got left out in the cold. It was a really, really bad situation that still haunts me today.

Anyway, most of my happiness was me fakin' it like a pro. It wasn't easy, and it wasn't fun, but mom had told me time and time again that these were our problems and not other people's, and that going to a counselor or talking to someone she had not pre-approved was out of the question (and those pre-approved people usually told my parents absolutely everything afterwards, so they weren't an option). It was a really, really rough time and I still detest the fact that my 'rents wouldn't think that maybe I just needed to go see a doctor or something for help.

But then things went down hill really quickly. My parents went through some rough spots. My boyfriend broke up with me--knowing that at that moment, I needed someone. So badly. My friends didn't call me back, they ignored me, wouldn't talk to me, and once school started--they were rude. I didn't have a clue of what was happening with my life anymore, and I didn't know what was going to happen.

(please note: Faith played a huge part in me still being here, but due to some people I've had the pleasure of speaking with, I actually won't go into that. Mostly because I'm tired of people not listening to me when I say if I did not put all of my trust in God I would have killed myself then I know where my faith stands, please stop doubting me.)

Erm... moving onward, this was a serious time of self-development. It was a time that I got to learn about myself, my real friends, my family--and it was a really hard time. Even going into school, it was still a crazy time of learning about myself.

I don't know what "type" I was before that all happened, but I was out-going, social, I wanted many friends and I liked being apart of a group. I was always busy, my house was a hang-out for all of my girlfriends and our movies were the best. For me, being out-going--and even snotty at times--meant fitting in, and I liked it that way.

But when they left, for whatever reason, leaving me to figure out the pieces--it was hard. Besides my faith, I turned to Pinterest and baking blogs. I made cakes and artwork, I spent my summer earnings on canvases and furniture and paint. I deleted all the negative friends on Facebook and filled it with dancing and positive pages. I read and wrote and kept busy, I worked out until I lost 50lbs. I wasn't "happy"--I was still figuring things out, but I was busy. Being busy gave me no time to think about the breakup or how my life felt out-of-control. Instead, being artsy and changing my room's shape every few days made me happy and like I had total control of my world.

When I got back to school, I realized how time to myself had really changed me. I was cold, studious. I didn't talk to people, I read books and kept to myself. During homecoming week, when there was the collective lunch, I ate by myself at my own table. Granted, I nearly cried, but it was part of what the world was making me--I wasn't outgoing any longer, I was scared of being rejected again and again.

But soon that faded. It faded into fact: These people don't like me, therefore, I've got to find my own people.

And it might be harsh to those that I go to school with--but none of you made an effort to be in a group with me, and all of you shooed me away or gossiped about me behind my back. So yeah, I moved on. I'm always open towards a friendship though--just know that I'm not the girl you might've known before.

But, "my own people" was a challenge. I searched in my ballet class, clubs--everywhere. I couldn't find anyone. Until, of course, I found the internet. And on the internet, there was a great place where people blogged and expressed themselves and could manage what sort of world they thrived in.

I wanted to be a part of that.

So in February, I made a blog. I decided I would stick with it, through thick or thin. Content would be rough some days, but I would learn. I still am. And quickly, I learned that blogging was something that I loved--it kept me busy while others mocked me, it made me happy even though no one really read it. It was the place I could call my own. It was my inspiration to be creative.

And ostracism was what brought me here. Here, one year from all that, a-okay and working. I hope this year is better, if not--I hope I can blog about it. :)

Cheers,
Jenn

Excuse My Creativity

Hi everyone!

This is going to be a weird post, but it's something that I've been thinking about a lot while secretly working on the Fangirl posts. It has to do with something that is encouraged in elementary school, disregarded in middle school, and makes you a laughing stock in high school. It's the one thing that employers are said to love, yet adults think is a joke. It's something that can change a person's life, yet if you dare participate in it, you're made fun of by your peers.

But whoa. Wait. I'm getting ahead of myself--I should at least tell you what it is, shouldn't I?

First, though, a short anecdote.

About a week ago, one of our church friends (he's 18), landed himself in the hospital because his appendix was on the verge of exploding inside of him. Luckily, they caught it before any damage could be made, so he recovered pretty well (as of now, he's happily being busy about his day). But the day after his surgery, our church took a trip to go visit him. It was, like, eight in the morning and had that been me in that room being visited by ten people at eight in the morning I would have killed someone. But he smiled and welcomed us.

Okay, enough about him, this has to do with me 'cause I'm selfish. Well, more of an emotion that I hope this encases.

So, we were standing around making jokes and my sister and her friends grabbed the long list of DVD's you can watch on request. They were reading off titles, and we were laughing at some of the stranger ones, when my sister says: "Oh hey, I wonder if My Little Pony is on here."

She begins looking and they all start joking. Then she asked, "Would it be under My Little Pony?" she rolled her eyes and laughed.

But, being the proud Brony I am, I bluntly stated, "Well, actually, it might be under MLP Friendship is Magic, because the series is titled--"

And then my pastor interrupted me, "Oh Jenn, we're doing this for fun while you're doing this seriously."

And the shame, disregard, and embarrassment that ensued was insane. I felt horrible. I felt like curling up into a ball and dying. Because, well, something that I love had been mocked, but not just that--me, too.

Why is this such a big deal? Well, in the Brony universe, this is actually is a very common thing, and that wasn't the worst that had ever happened. (I've been called some horrible things for being a Brony) But the reason why I wanted to share that with you all is not just because that is recent, but because it has a huge something to do with what I wanted to talk about:

Creativity.

Why are shows like My Little Pony so important? Because it gives kids the ideas to get creative. To go on an adventure with Twilight Sparkle and Rainbow Dash. To take care of animals with Fluttershy. To make a dress with Rarity. To laugh and joke and learn how important it is to smile with Pinkie Pie, but learn the importance of hard work with Apple Jack. But most of all, it can teach you how important it is work on friendships.

Even if you're not a Brony, there's so much that you can do being creative that can land you in hot water.  Write a blog? Well, blogging is for losers. Writing a book? Good luck with that, writing's for try-hards and nerds. Live-action-role-playing? Wow, that's for losers with no life. Renaissance Faires? It's called 1-800-get-a-life.

I can go on.

But as I mentioned before--when you're young, people encourage it. People want to see you living it up, using your brain to escape the world. But when you're in high school, it suddenly stops. Pretending, imaging, using your brains for something other than serious social stuff--it's all frowned upon. Being apart of a fandom that no one understands doesn't just make you weird, it also can make you the lowest on the social ladder.

And why does this stop? What on earth is so important that we are discouraged to live our lives without a bit of imagination? Why do teachers even discourage it?

Honestly, we're in such a hurry to grow up that we even bite the heads off of those that don't want to. And even those that "don't want to"--do they really detest growing up, or have they found a safe way of coping? If being creative don't hinder how you interact with people or how you take care of your life and those around you--and instead is something you do on the side--then why is it so bad?

And to those who say it's an unrealistic coping skill, is it really? What's a good coping skill? Talking, counseling, playing sports--things that usually include other people and are physical. So if you're handicapped or have a broken bone or something, sorry, no coping for you! Suffer!

Please, consider. If the world embraced creativity as a whole, wouldn't we just be better off? No, the world doesn't need starving artists all over. But the world also doesn't need people who detest the idea that the unknown isn't at all factual. I speak on behalf of all the dragons and unicorns in the world when I say this: Just because you haven't seen them, doesn't mean they don't exist.

One example I'll leave you with.

Sailor's tales used to say that a giant beast with long tentacles and a wide, glaring eye and sharp, vicious teeth would hunt those who dared to venture into the sea. This beast was known as the Kracken. After a few years, scientists disregarded this completely.

Now, though, they have found a squid that lived up to the "large" side of the sailor's tales--and they believe that bigger is out there. Even though the tall tale was really tall, it still had more fact behind it than scientists could ever believe. And the people that believed in such a beast even before the live footage was made were those that did imagine.

So, don't knock those that happen to embrace the stranger part of life. Not before you're totally aware.

Cheers!
Jenn

Let Me Write Your Movie: a New Series

Hi everyone!

So, I like to play this game with myself. When I read a movie or TV series synopsis, I make up an entire plot to it. Usually, I try and go watch the movie, where I'm like: Wow, this is NOT what I had in mind at ALL. And I've been doing this for years! So, I decided to play this game on this blog, and hopefully induce inspiration/laughter/thought from all of you through my outlandish ways of thinking.

Today, I offer up a 1994 movie, I.Q. (real-synopsis as according to Netflix):

When Catherine, the cerebral niece of scientific genius Albert Einstein, piques the interest of an average auto mechanic, Einstein concocts a plan to bring the two divergent minds together.

My movie plot (but don't forget to post your own in the comments!): It takes place twenty years before Albert Einstiein's death, when he is visited by a woman who claims she can see into the future. She relays to Einstein that in the year of 1994, there will be only one family member of his left--a niece. She tells him that this niece will be "forever alone" (another gift from her to him of the future), and that the niece will hold no heir. The old woman leaves in a blink of his eye, and he decided that his cannot be the fate of his legacy! After ten years, Einstein makes the first time machine, and goes to the year 1994 to find this niece.

Once Einstein arrives, he is shocked by the world around him. The world is no longer what he once thought it was--instead, it's something he could only dream of! But he has a mission on mind--find his niece and save his family. Through the media sources, he finds where his niece is, and happens upon her right as she's getting an oil change. This convinces him that the friendly mechanic is the one to carry on his legacy, and he quickly begins to set them up.

But, is a genius of science really a genius of romance? Will he be able to travel back in time soon enough? WILL HIS FAMILY CONTINUE LIVING?

Through the help of pie (haha, see what I did there?), Einstein finds that family isn't about cleverly making it continue--it's also about proving you care enough to make them right.

What are your absolutely amazing synopsis??? :)

Cheers!
Jenn

Fangirling~

Hi everyone!

Light subject today. And what is that subject?

Okay. Honestly, I tried to avoid this. I really, really did! But then, I quickly turned into this (listen/skip to :50 and a bit beyond...) over certain things--only, not about a couple, no, about FICTIONAL COUPLES. Which is just weird. Usually. But, um, there's this whole world out there for girls like me that fangirl over certain couples/people. And what is that called? FANDOMS. Boys, girls, monsters--all are welcome to come fan-out with us. Only, fangirls/guys are usually reserved to Tumblr. 

Talk about a huge identity crisis. Why am I on blogger again...? 

Oh, right. That whole "I'll do tutorials! I'll write interesting stuff! I'll entertain them with funny stories!" thing. 

Welllllllll. This is awkward. 

Anyway, so, I haven't exactly met "blogging standards". No pictures every post, and a lot of my posts are apologies about not posting frequently. So out with the apologies! In with the abstract posts about books, fangirling, my novel--everything you should know about me. And then, maybe we'll get into the fun stuff. No promises! ;) 

But, introducing the fandoms! I'm gonna give you one more picture, and then list that all apply to me! ^.^ Do the same in the comments! (promise??!!!) 

Ready? *deep breath* 

• Demigod!!! 
• Initiate 
• Whovian 
• Sherlocked (I dislike "Sherlockian") 
• Avenger 
• Trekkie (my real name? After a character on Star Trek. No joke.) 
• Jedi! 
• Brony :3 
• Rum Runner... 
• NERDFIGHTER! (only, Hank Green too!) 
• Brown Coat! 
• Oncer! 
• Daughter of Eve ;) (I play this classy, thank you!) 
• Psycho 
• Disney Geek :3 
• Merlinian!!! 
• MARVEL!!! 

AND SO PROUD OF ALL OF THEM! What are your Fandoms? List them below! 

Cheers! 

Jenn

Giving Out Hugs

Hi everyone!

So, did I write those words? YES!!! And it was awesome! *bows* I've got less than four thousand words until the end of Part I. And I'm so excited to get to the end of Part I. It's like ending one book, and starting another. :) And one I figure out a good way to get the podcasts up without ruining your ears, I will be posting one that will go into my novel just a bit. ^.^ I'm very excited about this.

But, I think my blog post quality has been going down. And I'm sorry for that. But, I have some very exciting news! Through NaNo, I was able to partner with a few others to write for the blog Books N Tech. You can go check that out--it a blog featuring technology and soon book reviews. (: I'll be doing the book reviews myself, but will also be writing my own here! I'm super excited to be working with these guys.

Other news? Welp, I'm failing. But, you can say that it's been a long week writing in NaNo and will continue to be a long month. But I'm going to be working hard at writing blog post for the next few hours, not minding NaNo. It's a pleasant break from my story. ^.^

Have a good night!

Cheers!
Jenn

Interview: Lauren

Hi everyone!

Thanks for joining me this Friday! We have a very special guest, Miss Lauren Roland, a fellow blogger and friend! To read her blog, click here. There, you'll find everything you need to know. But, please stay and leave any comments in the down below!!! :)

 Q: What inspired you to start your blog?
A: Well, after a certain event occurred that forced the shut-down of my first blog, I realized that I didn't want to leave the world of blogging. I'd learned so much, and I'd loved connecting with people. I liked sharing myself with others. And if I could help others who were going through the same things, then that'd be something I could contribute to the world. I'm just a teenager, and I can't do much. But online, I can do so much more than I originally thought.

Q: What have you blogged about that you hadn't expected to?
A: Heartbreak.

Q: Who do you think your audience is?
A: I have no idea, but I'm hoping it's other teenagers like myself. My other blog was aimed towards new military SO's, but this one's got no intended audience. I guess it's whoever wants to see random ramblings? I have no idea. I want it to be anyone who's having a bad day, because I think I might be able to make them laugh. (Especially with my work-related stories.) Or maybe at least make them smile.

Q: Where is the best place for you to write a post?
A: Best place to write? I usually write on my bed, when I'm all snuggled up under my covers and whatnot.

Q: When is the best time for you to blog?
A5: I usually write my posts late at night. It's not unusual for me to write stuff at 11 p.m. or 1 a.m., and then just schedule them so that they post when I want them to post. Sometimes I'll just save them as drafts, then publish them when I want to. There's not really a set "time" that I have for writing. It's whenever the mood strikes me, or whenever I have something that I feel like I have to write about.

Q: Why do you continue blogging?
A6: I think it's fun. It's interesting. It's a way to get my mind out there. And heaven knows it's better to let things out than to keep them locked inside. If I were to keep everything locked inside, I'd explode. (I've done that several times, and it's not pretty. So better to get stuff outside before it gets to that point.)

Q: What with your favourite dessert? :)
A: Are you serious? You expect me to pick just one? Well… I like the molten chocolate lava cakes from Chili's. Those are pretty freaking amazing. I also like chocolate chip cookies (I make EPIC cookies, yo).

Q: What is one thing that you've learned that you'd want to tell another person?
A: Everything I've learned from blogging, or everything I've learned in general?

From blogging, just write what you know. Your experiences. Stick to your subject/theme, and you'll do fine, but don't be afraid to stray from it every so often to keep things a little interesting.

From life… Hm. That's a hard one. I've learned some things, but the big things I haven't learned. (Does that make sense? I haven't followed my "own" advice, ever, because I'm a stubborn person.) If I were to pick something to impart to other, possibly quite impressionable people, it would be… Get up and get out. Don't sit in your room and mope because you don't think anyone likes you. Get out there and be so busy that you don't have time to think. Before you know it, you'll find people who share interests. It may take a bit of time, but if you keep doing it, you'll find people.

Let's give a huge round of applause! Please, don't forget to check out her blog!!! If you'd like to be an interviewee, please comment and "Follow" my blog. All follows will be reciprocated, and once I get a feel of what you do, I'll possibly request that you join me for an interview.

Cheers!
Jenn

Blogging Isn't Just YOU

Hi everyone!

I've featured several posts about blogging and what I thought was needed to make a blog better. And most of those were on how to make a better looking blog--very few about content. But in this post, I want to address how blogging etiquette makes a huge difference. Your blog can either be welcoming and friendly, or not so welcoming and not so friendly.

What makes the difference?

1. Appearance
Without a well-groomed blog, you might have a somewhat hostile or bland environment. All white? Probably not your best bet. All black? It's like sending your reader into a very dark, very scary tunnel without a flashlight! Think about what your blog looks like, and take time grooming it to look like your personality. To make the environment what you want it. You'll attract the right readers--I'm sure!

2. Personality
You can have the most gorgeous blog EVER, but if you type like a robot without any emotion, no one will come. It can be very bland. Reading a pure sentence can get boring. Without asking questions or showing excitement, people can get bored. Anger is another emotion you should exploit. BECAUSE reading something like this is much more fun!!!! :D 

3. KINDNESS
If someone takes the time to comment on your blog and you're not constantly getting comments while you sleep, you should be responding and opening conversation. It's polite! They'll visit your blog again and again to talk to you, and eventually they'll become a regular reader! Also, make sure to post often. SERIOUSLY. Once a month will get you no consistent readers! (month of April 2013, I only got spam sites visiting my blog--think about it)

Blogging, in the end, is about connecting with people. While you can want to express yourself, don't cut off your audience! Making them feel included, loved, cared for, at home--all these things will help you not only get more readers, but will also help you have an easier time carrying on with blogging. Blogging is one-half you, one-half your readers. Now go out there and get some!

Cheers!
Jenn

Please note: If you leave your blog link in the description, I promise to at least go and check it out! And comment! AND SHARE SOME BLOGGING LOVE! <3 

Let's Talk: Words About Sex

Please note: If you are under thirteen, I'd prefer you didn't read this. It's going to have some controversial issues come up, and I wouldn't feel comfortable knowing I ruined someone's innocence. Please, move on! Thank you!(: 

Hi everyone!

This is going to be weird, but it's important to me. Because my family doesn't read my blog, I do feel a bit safer expressing more... strong feelings. Mainly, that's what the "Let's Talk" posts are for--the stronger feelings. (okay, most of them. there's like two that don't fit)

On Facebook, I'm friends with an author--Mrs. Shannon Hale. And Mrs. Hale, for the past few months, has been posting some amazing articles on rape culture. This has affected me a lot--both towards guys and girls. Before I had started paying attention to what she was saying, I had been okay with objectifying language. In a 'boys will be boys' sort of way. But as I got into it, started doing the research she had been, starting to learn more about what's really okay and not--I quickly started having no tolerance towards the thing.

And what are these words?:

"I'd hit that." "I'd do that." "You're too ugly to be raped."

And it's not just those words. I mean, let's not forget the degrading ones about our looks and features, weight, intelligence--I mean, since when were guys the only smart ones? These guys can say, "Girls are ugly without makeup" one moment, and then say "I'd hit that" the next--since when did that become acceptable?

If you're new here, you won't really know this, but if you're not, then you're probably aware that I have PMS issues. They're basically PMDD issues, and are not fun to deal with. And once a month, for two full weeks, I get to deal with being dumb (not by choice), being confused, being bloated, being tired, being mean (again, not by choice)--all not by my freakin' choice! And this became a challenge for me at school--I hung out with guys. And they would whisper like girl's do--just so that way I can hear them. They would say:

"Someone's crazy!" "Yeah, all girls are stupid." "Probably up last night doing her nails." "Why don't you go make me a sandwich?" 

And I know. I know, I know, I know, I no, I know. I'm probably over-reacting. But I'm not--since when did it become so okay for guys to say things like that about girls? Especially when I hadn't done my nails since that summer and I had straight A's! Ah! Now I'm upset! (or just trying to barely stay awake)

Thing is, though, it hurts knowing that guys get away with being creepers. Guys can say whatever they'd like about girls, and it's socially accepted.

One time, though, when sitting in one of my classed, one guy did make an incredibly sexist remark. And the next thing I heard (other than awkward laughter) was: "Dude, that's not funny." The guy, a stoner, sitting next to me made it clear that it wasn't okay, and a little bit of me was proud of his words. (guys, he's a stoner.)

Which kinda brings me to my next point: For guys, and girls, saying crude things about sex shouldn't be okay. It's important. And if it's not to you, than it's always between two people. Not you and the crowd that hears you say "I'd hit that."

Now, are you going to let a stoner who's waited until mid-high school to get his GPA up, or are you going to start being a role model for all things that are okay? Because, ladies, you shouldn't be complimented when someone tells you they'd "do" you. And guys, you shouldn't think "I'd do you" is a compliment.

Thanks for letting me rant, everyone. Hopefully that made some sense.

Cheers!
Jenn

An Accident

Hi everyone!

(I wonder when that opening will get so sickeningly sweet I'll finally cut it out.)

So, I noticed something recently. I didn't really know why I chose the phrase "blogging a life without words" for my title. Probably because I got bored and needed a title. But, besides that, it just came to me and I decided that I like it. It wasn't until later that I thought: Hey, isn't that like Job 6:24?

For those that don't know (haha, no one knows...), Job 6:24 is one of my favourite verses. I'm a quiet person, one who likes direction and knowing where my life is going. Being impatient sometimes got to me--it's tough! And so while I was reading through Job, I came across that verse and decided that I would memorize it and love it forever. Because I didn't use my current <3-ed translation, I will copy and paste it. But eh. It happens.

“Teach me, and I will be silent;
make me understand how I have gone astray."

(this is how I remember: Teach me, and I will be silent; show me the ways I have been lead astray)(I do like my version better.... but I'll stick to the ESV translation)

Anyway, this verse--as I look at it, anyway--it's about keeping quiet until God speaks to you. It's about waiting for His guidance, for Him to show you how you've been taken away from Him. If you look at Job's story, you'll find that Job was being punished for nothing. Job had been chosen by Satan to be exploited in a way--Satan had told God that none of God's people were really followers, and at the first sign of trials, they would deny God. God said to try it--have at Job. He gave over His protection to let Satan try and prove his point. In the end, though, Job remained faithful, and was rewarded. And Job had lost a lot--his family, friends, his house, crops, livestock--everything. Down to rags. And he still believed in God.

Job 6:24 is Job calling out to God, asking Him what he had done. The exchange afterward--someone correct me if I'm wrong--isn't so great, but that verse was awesome to me. Because we do need to pipe down and let God take over sometimes ALWAYS. And I want to be reminded of that, day after day. And this blog was unintentionally named after my favourite verse--because subconsciously, I knew that my silence wasn't a bad thing. Sometimes, you have to be silent to be lead back.

Cheers!
Jenn

Update!: Thank you, Clio, for becoming the sixth member here!(: Lotsa love your way! 

Writing Essentials

Hi everyone!

I decided to write this post on writing essentials. Do ya'll remember way back when in April when I attempted NaNoWriMo? Well, I always wanted to do this post, but never did. I'll list what I keep on me at all times, what I use just for writing, and what I keep in my writing bag. Here's a picture of all of it:


Now, a break-down (please don't mind the pictures--had to use flash indoors and everyone knows how that works out.).

Here's a picture of the self-maintenance stuff that I have. I keep an EOS sphere (this one is strawberry sorbet), some Be Enchanted had lotion, and a nail file. Ever since I started keeping the nail file, my nails have been really healthy and long, so I consider it a good-luck-with-nails-charm.

Here's my electronic stuff. On the bottom are my spare headphones (two for $14--my dad said get two so I can have an extra, 'cause I run through them like crazy), and I love the sound from them. There's my pink iPod from when I detassled, bought with my own money. I was so excited I cried when I got it. HAHAHA, just kidding, I was too dehydrated to do that. The blue thing is my flashdrive, and there's my current pair of headphones.(: Without music, I couldn't write. And without my flashdrive, I couldn't save my writing. YAY TECHNOLOGY! 

 Here's two pictures of my favourite books--Just Listen by Sarah Dessen, and my journal. Whenever I need a break or some time to sit back and think for myself, I like to read or write. And writing makes me happy, and journaling makes the world a better place.(:

Whoooo! And finally, here's the essentials for life: writing utensils and chocolate! I've got led, erasers, pens, a mechanical pencil, and a bar of chocolate.

Purse Essentials: 

• Pen and/or pencil 
• Journal 
• Flashdrive 
• iPod and headphones 
• Camera 
• Pads/tampons
• EOS/Chapstick 
• Hand lotion 
• Nail file 
• Hand sanitizer  

Writing Bag Essentials: 

• Sketchbook (that black thing under everything)
• Baby (my netbook I've currently typing on) 
• Pencils and/or pens 
• Book/reading material 

I hope some of you found that inspirational! What are your writing must-haves? What pieces of technology do you think a blogger can't live without? I'll try to do a purse-must-have post soon, because there's so many things that must be discussed! 

Cheers! 

Jenn

Headers

Hi everyone!

Currently working on some newish looks for the blog--because typical blogs are typical. A while ago, I posted on how to get your blog people-ready, but I never posted on how to actually write the interesting information that I suggested you write. I'm no expert on this--my content isn't so exciting, but it's basically about writing and getting emotion across, right? RIGHT? OH MY GOODNESS THE WORLD IS ENDING! (so that's not what we're going to talk about right now.) 

Anyway, like, I thought I would share some helpful knowledge to save the lot of you from heartache and trouble. Anyway, here's a brief tutorial using Pic Monkey to make a header.

Header 

First, you need to find a picture that might be appropriate for your header. You want a picture that would look good shrunken, enlarged, and would fit your theme. Remember, your theme is what you have to keep to (ah... don't look at my header for inspiration, please and thanks). I chose, for the meantime, this picture to fiddle around with: 

Then, you might want to change it up. I tinted it to match my background and added my blog's title to the picture. 

Because this part is super simple, I'll skip over what steps exactly I used in the photo editor. But, eventually I added a border. And loved it.(: 

Now, the thing is, if you notice, both the photos for the header are the same size. This is where you need to pay attention. Edit as much as you like, but before adding it to your blog, make the header 820x191. If you don't do that, your header will either look HUGE and add an extra three inches to your page, or it will be so tiny that you can't do anything with it. Save it in a file that you can easily find. 

Next, go to your Blogger home page. Click on the blog that has the header that you would like to change, and go down to the Layout tab. (I know there's a way to do this in code, but trust me, this is easier.) Next, click on the section with your blog's title on it. Then, you'll find the "Upload Image" bullet point, click on it, find your photo, click "Upload" and ta-da! You should be all good once you click save. 

The same process is fairly easy. You just have to have patience, and at the very least, be able to resize your picture. And if you're accessing my blog, you can probably access Pic Monkey. I have no idea about your internet restrictions, though, so... yeah...

Anyway, hope that helped some? Yes? No? 

Cheers peeps! 

Jenn

How to Get Your Blog People-Ready
Blogging a Blog pt. 1--Writing Daily 
Blogging a Blog pt. 2--Writing What?

HEY! Did I Mention?

Hi everyone!

NEWS TIME! Hugely exciting news all around! Ready?:

1. We've reached 1,000 Pageviews! Thank you: 

Lauren, over at The Life of and Army Band Girlfriend--huge thank you! 

Spam sites!

Various Googelers that happen to stumble upon my blog!(:

Everyone, huge thanks for being amazing people full of amazingness. For all of the comments and all of the love, I cannot thank you all enough! 

2. So many cool sites! Because none of you may have an idea of what's on my Ship List, here's a brief description of what they're all like (in order of top to bottom of my Ship List when this post was written):

Bake at 350--An amazing blog full of baking (mainly cookies!). This was one of the first blogs I had ever looked and am addicted to her awesomeness! 

It Just Gets Stranger--A humour blog written by a Mormon that has some amazing posts! There is so much love on that blog, and I enjoy reading every post. You will not regret reading that one! 

The Life of an Army Band Girlfriend--A blog detailing the life of a girl who's guy is in the Army. A fun blog full of awesome girl-nerd-awesomeness, and a good read for anyone who's missing their guy (military or otherwise).

Refashionista--A sewing blog for those who need some refashion inspiration! I love her blog for ideas on what to do with old clothes that could still be worn, but just need a bit of love.(: My sewing outlet!

A Day in this Amazing Life!--A blog written by a young lady, detailing her life and adventures in a positive way. If you need some positiveness (or hope for humankind!), I'd direct you her way!

The Muses--A few young ladies got together to create this blog, that is so inspirational for young woman looking for some artistic understanding in God's world. Uplifting, artistic, spiritually educational--a fantastic group of girls adding to God's awe and power.(: 

If you visit these blogs, don't forget to comment! Seriously, the comment=love is so powerful!(: Please, please, please, for me??

3. INTERVIEWS ARE COMING BACK! Maybe it's just me that's excited? Yes? Oh well.... 

Night, everyone!(:
Cheers!
Jenn

Midnight Sighing

Hi everyone!

So guess what I'm doing? I'm procrastinating! It's probably not a good thing I'm doing it, too.

See, we have a ton of English homework due tomorrow on Catcher in the Rye. And I'm sorry to those that actually like the book--I'm just not that big of a fan! *sob sob sob* It's just been a long year and, no, I don't want to read anymore! But I need to read this book and do this homework. Because otherwise, I might get a C in the class. And that would suck.

And it's that way for some of my other classes, too. I did take a nap, and I'm grateful I did, but now, it's time to work. Ahhhhhhhh! 

Just kidding. Actually, it's just been a long night and my cycle is coming again and I just need to sleep. More sleep. Otherwise I'll start going cross-eyed tomorrow during blacksmithing. And then I'll accidentally stab someone with hot metal because I was too tired to think straight--hard decisions, right? Public safety or my grades? (not really--I plan on getting to school early, looking up summaries, and doing the writing assignment like a good procrastinating student)

Procrastinating sometimes causes huge amounts of stress, which is a shame. But (gentlemen look away... AWAY! I MEAN AWAY YOU CAN'T HANDLE THE TRUTH!), like, when my period comes around I usually get so stressed out that I start sobbing hysterically when I don't procrastinate. In fact, I just can't win. There is no win. I've woken my mom up at one in the morning because I was sobbing hysterically for no good reason. When this happens, she administers drugs that put me out like a light. I swear, all the homework that I've missed this year is because of my period.

Not complaining.

In fact, I kind of go with it. It's just that my grade is low--but, I'll get most of it done and hope that my monthly comes to pass soon so I can take my finals at 110%!

Eight more days!

Cheers,
Jenn

Hives and God's World

Hi everyone!

I'm currently sitting outside with hives up my arms and the grass that was touching my legs is gone. (as in uprooted) This is what happens when you're allergic to grass and hate the hives you get from it. *sigh* It's really bad this time. Hives. Everything. This sucks. Especially on a Saturday.

Good news, though?

I'm currently sitting in front of the fire pit I made myself, with a fire I made myself, being cooled off by the breeze God made himself. (ahhh, see what I did there?) I'm also finally putting that marshmallow stick to good use! *smiles* It's good to be out here, just thinking to myself in the quiet, eating a marshmallow and trying not to itch my newly made hives. *dies*

Those red dots? Hives. Ew, hives. 

Quick story: This dude just drove up to me ('cause I'm kinda writing on my laptop) and asked:

Are you sitting there with all your friends?

Me: What?

Him: Are you sitting there with all your friends?(:

Me: ALL of them! (I totally thought that he meant the absence of people, but... I have internet and am on my baby.)

That made it worth being out here by myself.(: I should blog in public more often.

Moving onward, it's really cool to be out here by myself. Not just because strangers drive up and ask me questions, but because I get to think. Recently, I've obtained some unsettling news that I know will drive me insane. And it will suck. And maybe I need some time to just sit and observe how beautiful God's world is.

Life hasn't been kind of late. People at school have been rude and mean, and life in general has just gotten hard to manage. Sometimes I get lonely because I don't really have anyone to turn to. Sometimes, I think I need like a boyfriend or something. (not saying boyfriends are bad--just, when they're only there to fix something, yes, they are bad.) 

But then, I get moments like these where I had been previously given tools and made some pretty neat things. Most of it, God just provided the tools through coincidence or accident--I think, for most of my life, God has provided. Everything I have isn't mine, it's been given to me by Him, and therefore, is His. And getting to enjoy those things that I've made by hand in this setting is awesome.

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! *kills more grass, realizes the irony of destroying God's creation while being grateful for it* I should be an English teacher...

Anyway, through enjoying those tools, it's made me realize again that I am a person that God made and don't need people to make me feel special or self-sufficient. I'm perfectly awesome all by myself--well, not counting God. But we should always count God. So, I'm a perfect human all by myself. Because I was blessed with two hands that made some amazing things.(:

Roasting ze marshmallow~!!!

And now, I'll upload some pictures and we'll have an awesome post!!!(:

Cheers!
Jenn

Mmmm, marshmallow... 

Love, Strangers, and Lovely Strange Words

Hi everyone!

I always have something nom-alicious to nom on because I get hungry and feel the need to nom. *noms on crackers* In school, it’s hard to stay focused when you’re like “OMG I WISH I COULD NOM ON SOMETHING RIGHT ABOUT NOW!” My history teacher likes to tell us to nom on things as much as possible, if we feel the need—he doesn’t want us getting that dazed over hunger look when he’s talking. He’s a pretty cool guy. And, he totally made me think about always having food on me, which I now do.

Food isn’t always a good thing, but I’m not a *constant* nommer. I nom on things every now and then, just as I get hungry. It’s never a boredom thing. I make sure of that. (ugh! I just got down to being a medium I’m not going back up because of nomming!) But recently (actually, while I writing this post on a word document because SOMEONE DECIDED TO BAN BLOGGER IN OUR SCHOOL), I decided to look up the definition of “nom.”

My usage of nom started back when I began to sit and hang out with guys at my school. Apparently not liking real-life girls is a problem (okay, I like real-life girls—hanging out with females is FUN! Just not all females do I enjoy hanging out with…). But, I make do with my guy friends—one of whom likes to use the word “nom” to describe eating. At first, I was like “Okay, that’s weird.” But after a while, you start to pick up on their slang, and eventually you use it as much as they do. Half of what comes out of my mouth these days is thanks to them. Luckily, though, I blog so I get to keep my awesome “I talk like a total snob” dialect. And yes, I’m well aware that I sound like a snob, and no, I don’t really care.

Which just makes me that much more of a snob. Ugh.

Anyway, nom is quite the interesting little phrase. It’s not actually in the dictionary. It’s just a word. IT’S JUST A WORD. But, I’m 99% sure it stemmed off of a Japanese anime-watcher who then was like “DUDE I CAN TOTALLY USE THIS ALL OVER THE INTERNETS!” and he/she did. And, of course, the internet loved it and started using it on a regular basis. *high-fives the internet* And my guys, like total weirdos, picked up on it to.

And peeps, I know I call them weirdos and creeps and strangers, but honestly, I care about them. They are my guys. Even if I do think they’re creeps, I still think they are my besties. And I accept them. Because you can think that someone is a creep, weirdo, and stranger and still be besties with them. Only, they don’t know we’re besties. I do…

Moving onward, thank you CAROLINA WREN for becoming my fourth follower!(: When I get my blogging abilities back, I will totally stalk you! (dear school: why weebly and not blogger? WHY???)

Everyone else: If you want an interesting thing to do in your free time, head over to dictionary.com! It’s becoming one of my favourite sites to frequent.(: Maybe because I’m a nerd… (or because I want to expand my snobbish dialect more? The world may never know!)

Cheers!

Jenn

News!

Hi everyone!

Did I ever mention that I feel like I'm talking to myself? Cause I do. But, pretty soon ya'll will see who I've really been talking to--only 150 more pageviews to 1,000, and then I will throw a celebratory post together! Partay?

Anyway, June is coming up very quickly, which means summer will be here soon, which means that I have a request for anyone who is a blogger! Please email me at: jen.leahy.smiles@gmail.com for more information. ( jen (dot) leahy (dot) smiles (at) gmail (dot) com) I promise it will be quick, easy, and painless! (well, depending on you, really)

Thanks so much if you email me, or even if you just read my blog.(: If you're a reader, please stay with me until mid-June, and I'll post another News! update that I would love to have you respond to!

Cheers!
Jenn

Light Quotes!

Hi everyone!

Thought I might show you how I basically do things--it's fun! So, not too much writing today. Bummer, I know. First though: put on some music!(:

Here's a Before picture--the only thing I did was chop it down so it wouldn't 

take up half my blog page.(:

Here's a picture of what I was doing when I got started--it's not too much. 

I actually really like this one--it shows that with a few (two for this one) changes, you can

majorly change a picture's feel. 

HA! This is what I dubbed my "fairy picture"--because, look at it! 

IT LOOKS LIKE A FAKEY GLITTER EFFECT! (okay, that's basically what it is) 

But still, bit older, but still warm. And anyone else see the 

sparkles swirling? o.o

And I don't remember what I did with this one to make it so... dark. But I

like it a lot. Kinda has that "cliched" look about it--ya know, with the lame quotes 

that are somewhat taken out of context?

... speaking of which...

Your welcome.

 I thought it needed something different, though. More introvert-friendly and ...

REALISTIC. ^.^ 

Challenge: Create a photo with a lame quote that's taken out of context 

and has NOTHING to do with the picture and 

POST A LINK IN THE COMMENTS! 

Cheers! 

Jenn

Apologies

Hi everyone!

I know. I'm super far behind, and I am dying over here because of it. And let's not get too excited and say that I'm just dying because of this blog--nope. Everything has gotten super overwhelming. See, I have a different blog, one for Irish dancing (that I'm certain some of you have checked out) that needs to be updated and have videos put up on. In fact, it needs posts and steps and so much work. I've also been working on two dance routines for my school's upcoming show (one tap, the other lyrical) of which ya'll might get to see (ah... we'll see how blurry my face is in the end). They're actually coming along pretty nicely! And NaNo, and school, and... sleep. I really need to get some sleep.

I've decided not to bring up my lack of love on some of the other blogs (guys I'm so sorry I've really meant to post more comments than I have!).

It's been a long week(s).

But, I'm really thankful that I did take time last month to write a lot for NaNo. Though I'm not happy about it, I'm using those words in my final word count. I really wasn't expecting life to be like what it is (that being busy). I mean, how does a nerd with no life suddenly get busy? I've promised myself that I would take time to sit and write out blog posts early, but as everyone can see that isn't happening.

I need to stop complaining and just get stuff done now! Thank you all for reading my rants.(: Now, let's get this done!

I WILL be back soon with more posts that are along the lines of the series I have started! Promise! (like, Thursday! Thursday and we'll be back on track!)

Cheers!
Jenn