Wallowing...

Fact: I'm a fantastic dancer.
Fact: I'm an aspiring ballerina.
Fact: Nearly three weeks ago, I landed on my tailbone.
Fact: I had just gotten solos for our upcoming show.
Fact: My tailbone was really messed up.
Fact: It hasn't gotten better.
Fact: Today, I told my teacher I wasn't going to do the show.
Fact: Today, I cried over dance.

And I'm still really, really sad. Luckily, my teacher understood, so I'm on leave until my bum gets better. We haven't gone to a doctor's office yet, and so I've just been taking it easy and trying to just stay off my bum. And lemme tell you, it's the worst pain ever. Just super uncomfortable. I suggest not falling on your bum, ever.

Anyway, in our show, you can get solos--which are usually reserved for company members, of which I am (luckily, I got to keep my company position!!! YAY!!!). Not saying that other girls CAN'T get them, but the best in the dance school are usually bumped up to company once they become good enough to dance a solo. In my class, there were only about ten or fifteen company members--pretty small, they had been bigger from what I had heard they had before my time there.

This past January marked my first full year at this dance studio--which marked two years from coming out of Irish dancing with a competitive, high-profiled school. Considering that I did come out of Irish dancing and that my ballet experience was minimal--two years with a different school--I was pretty excited to have gotten into the company. It was a huge deal for my family and I; dance is basically going to pay for my college tuition (yay poor people!).

Anyway, so, basically: to get a solo for this company show was a BIG DEAL. And not even two weeks of learning about this--and a first rehearsal--I ran out to the car, my feet were suddenly in my vision, and I blacked out for a second. Next thing I know, I just *know* something wasn't right with my bum. I've fallen before--I'm a dancer, I fall ten times more than the average human being. But this was different. This was cowohehmgee I cannot get up. This was terrible.

Also, let's step on something else for a moment: I had a group project this particular morning, I was going to get up and go to school within the next five minutes of falling. So, I get up, and my jeans are soaked through. My mom doesn't even help me get up, and so I slowly get up on my own, Make my way to the house, put on new jeans, and carefully walk out to the car. All while sobbing with zero help from mom.

So, I get up, move on, and all day is the worst day ever. I stand out in gym. I cry while sitting. I feel like dying. But, I got this group project done and would finish it that weekend. This was just the beginning of what would become a serious problem--which you already know about.

I hope this gets better soon so I can go back! My teacher looked incredibly dismayed and said that if we ever thought about dancing again that we should come back. Of course, this was out of the question--we would totally be coming back to dance. My life without dance would be horrible.

Now, though, it's a time of healing and waiting. Hopefully I'll help out with the show.(:

Cheers!
Jenn