*WARNING: If you're squeamish about periods then you should not read this post. One of the cornerstones of In.w/o is PMDD, and this post has a lot to do with: dealing with and treating PMDD. This is purely educational on a subjective level. Please keep this in mind or do not continue reading. Thank you.*
Hi everyone!
Augh! First week of school is DONE. It's OVER. I can't believe it. (actually, I can. And that leaves a BILLION more days of school left! ooohhhh the perillll!)
So, I have written about PMDD before. Only I don't think I've stated that I was diagnosed? Back in June, my mother and I had a huge blow-up. And when I say huge, it wasn't like: "I hate you!" "I hate you!" "AGH I'M GOING TO MY ROOM!" It was more of a: "I !(@$U(@$@#$$%$# AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" "GET OUT OF MY HOUSE!" (no, there was no swearing. Just me leaving. Again. *sigh*)
Anyway, it was really, really tiring. And I was tired of it, and the hormones, and the general problems (depression, weird suicidal thoughts, the gist). Because, ya know, my life was difficult, but it wasn't non-doable. Like, PMDD messes everything up. I promise. Your ideas, your thinking, your brain--everything! AND JUST BECAUSE HORMONES. Like, there is nothing else that is wrong with you except the hormones! It's just so weiiirrrdddd!!!
So, I was done and in June I called my doctor's office and made mum take me in. I was diagnosed then, and am on a medication (that I can't talk about, so we won't go there). It's been working pretty well! I've been less spazzy, but all July I was completely sick because of it. Getting out of bed, staying awake--anything was extremely hard. I'm really grateful it was during the summer, though, so I wouldn't be like that during the school year.
But, my first week of school was weird. Due to the medication, I don't blow up on people or have suicidal thoughts. And honestly, getting used to non-PMDD anger is really hard, too. Because I'm like: am I going too far? Not far enough? Is this rational anger? Should I just go flip a table?
I'm 99% certain I have ADD or something. STAY ON TRACK ME!
Anyway, those few things I listed above were key pre-cursors to my period. And the meds have been keeping those things at bay, so my period is a bit of a surprise now. And I've been pretty relaxed, being as recently I haven't had any irrational/rational anger bouts. It's been so weird!
Today, right before math, I went to the bathroom. Just a casual "I gotstapeeeee" trip, nothing out of the blue. AND YES THIS IS IMPORTANT TO THE STORY. I then went to math and enjoyed relearning things that have been pounded into my brain since kindergarten. I was like: "I GET IT 1+1 IS--"
OHHHHHHHHHMMMYYYYGODS
I doubled over in a second, feeling sudden pain coming from the pit of my stomach. For those girls that are "normal" or whatever (or those boys that are reading this), it kinda feels like when you have bad gas, only ten times worse. Period cramps are a pain of their own, and a step up from that is basically labor. It's training! I'M PREPARED!
It was really, really painful though. And I sat through the rest of math class, dying. But it was even stranger because I've never just KNOWN when my period hits. Like, I've known "about when", but never have been like: "ANND it's here. Yay!" Mostly because who's happy on their period but also because I've just been crampy a few days before my period too.
Now I'm happy and I know things. Gods. I'm growing up!
Anyway, I went up to my teacher and just was like: "Can you write me a pass now because I just got gut-punched by mother nature if ya know what I mean." I'm pretty sure she was thinking: "YOU JUST WENT" but then, she is a female so she might've been more like: "I'm so sorry. That sucks. Welcome back to school!"
We'll never know.
Anyway, I just thought that was an interesting story from school. School's a pain but it was a new experience having to do with PMDD, which is one of the things I blog about. Because PMDD SUCKS.
Cheers!
Jenn
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